Legs jokes
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
What has 2 legs and is red all over?
Me: Wanna play 9/11?
Friend: What's that?
Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
What has 4 wheels, 2 legs, and loves his shoulder?
Stephen Hawking.
really is there
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants 👖
What's that thing that walks on two legs, washes dishes, sucks my cock, cooks, cleans, bends over for me and never fucking shuts up?
Femoids.
What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?
A walkie-Torquay.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
You know how Stephen is smart, which class did he skip?
Leg day.
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
What do windows have in common with my wife's legs? They're easy to open.
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
A little boy was given a bicycle and a soccer ball for his birthday, but why was the little boy unhappy?
Because the little boy had no legs.