Bone

sans the skeletonw

i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.

Alphabet

Anonymous

This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”

The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”

So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”

When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”

The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…”

Arms

Anonymous

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel

Helen

Bob Thompson

Why did Helen Keller have a yellow leg? Her dog was blind too.

Arms

Vinman

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel

Name

Anonymous

There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.

Shoulder

Anonymous

What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder

Stephen hawking

Woman

Anonymous

What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen

Arms

Anonymous

Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

Cut

Anonymous

If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

Doctor

Michael Palmer

Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news?” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

Puns

Anonymous

Why do you tell actors to break a leg, because every play has a cast

Break

bleep bloop

why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!

Cheer

Anonymous

My grandad broke his legs.

To cheer him up i bought him a walkman

Dog

Thomas

What do you call a dog with no legs ?

It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.

Sadness

Anonymous

what do you call a dog with no legs?

It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.

Man

BigDickBobby

A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away.

The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away.

The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been fucked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE FUCKED!”

Puns

Anonymous

why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST

Cow

Anonymous

What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?

LEAN BEEF!

Twin Towers

Zachary Beerbower

Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

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