Leave jokes
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
Why can’t the emo play in trees? They’ll leave ‘em hanging.
Q: What did the kid say to the emo kid?
A: Don't leave me hanging!
Why do trees always gotta leave me hanging?
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
Leave a like if you LOL at this joke!
"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"
Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."
Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."
I saw a kid crying, so I asked them, "Where are your parents?" Then she cried harder, so I left the orphanage.
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
Kenya, if you keep smiling then you will become a positive bitchy!
Tenya, everyone hates you why I have no idea!
Kenya stop smiling and start dying!
Tenya, why are you so mean!
Kenya, stop acting like a mantrapp!
Tenya, stop being a bitch in a skirt!
Please leave a comment good or bad! cusswords whatever!
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.