Leave jokes

What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?

"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"

"Watersharky, don't leave the site."

Okay, the time has come... I am finally leaving this website, so yeah.

I'm going to enjoy my life, so yeah.

I'm going to leave now, so bye.

"Hey, look at me, I'm stupid named Jordan C who won't shut up and leave Addison alone."

There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.

I searched up hornets and then said that it will leave a sting.

Why did the orphan have to stay at school?

Because they need to leave with a parent.

What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?

Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.

What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.

I wasn't gonna tell another Epstein joke but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.

Americans leave without saying goodbye.

Russians say goodbye without leaving.

What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?

"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."

Confucius say: "Gay man who take far, far away trip, hates to leave friends behind."

Why do orphans like cows?

Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.

My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.

My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:

Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*

LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?

Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?

Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!

jacethehater, you are a hater, and it needs to stop! Waterhsharky is very nice to people, so leave him alone for whatever he/she did or did not do. He did not do nothing. So leave him/her alone. Plus, making threats to people is very bad, and comments can be seen everywhere! So don't get too cocky with everything.

A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.

The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"

She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."

The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."

A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."

Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.

"Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?

"You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.

Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.

Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"

Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."