Leave jokes
What is red, orange, and yellow but doesn’t feel anything when it falls? Autumn leaves. 🍁
Why do orphans like cows?
Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
Peter: Curses!
Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Peter: *Crying*
Jacob: Why are you crying?
Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*
Akeld, just want you to know: Leave me and Gwen alone.
Real me.
"Watersharky, don't leave the site."
Okay, the time has come... I am finally leaving this website, so yeah.
I'm going to enjoy my life, so yeah.
I'm going to leave now, so bye.
"Hey, look at me, I'm stupid named Jordan C who won't shut up and leave Addison alone."
What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"
Q: How would a chicken leave?
A: Through the exit.
There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?
Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?
Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
jacethehater, you are a hater, and it needs to stop! Waterhsharky is very nice to people, so leave him alone for whatever he/she did or did not do. He did not do nothing. So leave him/her alone. Plus, making threats to people is very bad, and comments can be seen everywhere! So don't get too cocky with everything.
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."
A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."
Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.
"Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?
"You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.
Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.
Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"
Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."