Leave Jokes

I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes

The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage

a donut and depresion are the same both have nothing in the middle and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for to long

This year I'm going to name my Christmas Tree , Amy Winehouse , because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room

If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.

And they're off.

I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!

Leave a life if you LOL at this joke!

why do trees always gotta leave me hanging

Q: What did the kid say to the emo kid? A: Don't leave me hanging

Why can’t the emo play in trees? They’ll leave ‘‘em hanging.

whats worse bieng loved or hated? cuz when ur loved you could be left alone or be batrade. but when your hated no ones there to leave you. what do u think?

why is it bad to high five an emo.. they will leave themselves hanging

Freshfry pls leave me and prince alone! I never ask u too join our chat!

hey you person who's scrolling, pls leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh its okay." etc it can be short if you dont want to then that's okay.

You should never leave a man hanging.

Unless they are still alive..

Don't leave us hanging, Sayori.

How do you punish Hellen Keller? Leave the plunger in the toilet

What did the terrorist think to himself seconds before hitting the tower? “Did I leave the stove on?”

What did the snail say to his ex-wife? I'm still leaving you!

A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home. She realizes she's pregnant, and has a baby boy.

The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.

The third year, she's feelling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father1"

Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"