Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
why did my dad leave me
because i was gay
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
Me be straight and bored.
Goes to my local bar which has a glory hole.
Out up spending the rest of the night there.
About to leave when, motherfucker, I realize I've been sucking a guy's cock this whole time.
):
You heard of spider man no way home. Now get ready for. Orphan: no way home.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, Daddy came in with the lady next door, and they started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off Daddy’s clothes, and Daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of Daddy and started...”.
The mother cuts him off and says, “Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” A couple hours later, the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face, shouting, “I’m leaving you... Go ahead, Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door, and you both started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off your clothes, and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing Mom did with Uncle Joe last summer.”
Why did my boyfriend leave me?
Because he's gay.
But why did he come back to me?
Because I'm actually a guy :-)
What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree
The tree leaves them hanging
A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest, the boy said “I’m scared” the man said “Why are you scared I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
Friend: You ok, man?
Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.
