Learning jokes

In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.

Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."

School.

Rory Burrows is dyslexic.

Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.

School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.

A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”

“I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny.

“Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad.

“Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny, and went off to bed.

In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother shit in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad fucking his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is fucking the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!"

Have you learned SoDN in chemistry? It's so hard.

What's SoDN?

Suck on deez nuts.

Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.

Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?

Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.

Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.

Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.

Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?

And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?

What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?

Ketchup!

Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.

Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.

Learn math the easiest way from Pendu.

Multiplying any number by 0 is 0 itself.

Hint: Multiplying any number by Pendu's G/A in 2022 is 0 itself.

The answer is 0.

Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?

He wanted to be able to finger A minor.

The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."

Towing ropes can't be learned. They must be taut.

Dad: What did you learn in school today?

Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.

"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."

Me:.....