Law Jokes

Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.

Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?

So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.

My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.

What is the most common crime in China?

Identity fraud.

The judge asked Bill Cosby for his defense. He used feminist talking points and said "My body, my choice" and "It's my right to privacy." The judge, being impartial, let Cosby go.

Two signs side-by-side are shown. The first sign on the left shows a gun with a circle and line through it and the text 'All weapons are prohibited on these premises.' The sign on the right shows a silhouette of a person holding a gun with the text 'The next person who shoots up the school is double gay.' above the silhouette, the text is above it.

What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?

The “cold and passed out” kind.

My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!

The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.

Why did orphans want to commit a crime?

Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.

Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?

Because they wanna be wanted.

Roses are red, potato chips are savory...

The United States prison system is legalized slavery.

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.