Law jokes
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?
So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.
First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"
So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
What is the most common crime in China?
Identity fraud.
Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.
I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing something good.
When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.