A man enters the bank and says, "Hi, I'm robbing you!" The man was arrested instantly.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone!
What's a convict's favorite song?
"I want to break free."
murder murder suicide by police
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
What is black and blue and really hates sex?
The six-year-old in my basement.
I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.
I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
Why did the vegetable go to jail?
He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.
I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
