Law jokes
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣
Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.
How did the guy rob the water park?
He used a water gun!
LOL 💦🔫💧🌊
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish, so he started to yell out, "Lil fishy, lil fishy, lil fishy!" They called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt.
Why did the police play baseball?
Why?
He wanted to play catch.
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
What do you call a fat man with a rape whistle? Hogan!
Why did the painting go to jail? Because it was framed!
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
Why can't George Floyd breathe? He had a knee on his neck, stupid.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!
My grandpa has the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
What kind of file turns a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A pedophile.