Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school.
The teacher asked why he had one. He said, "I need it to beat up the principal!"
When the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well, let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.
My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."
Little did I know it was just at prison.
What does a gorilla attorney study?
The law of the jungle.
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
Hippity hoppity, you are no one's property.
Why did the rapist not get sentenced?
Because rule 69 said so 🤣🤣
Who robs and breaks into people's houses?
Why was six afraid of seven?
Seven was a registered six offender.
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!
Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!
Why did the orphan commit mass murder?
To be on top of the wanted list.
Why did the wall fall over?
A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.
What animal always breaks the law? A cheetah.
Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.
Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!
If she’s old enough to breed, she’s old enough for me.
