Law jokes
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." Anybody relate?
What is a woman doing with an empty sheet?
Reading her rights!
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
I saw some terrorists on Family Feud. It looked like they had three strikes!
Why do orphans become criminals?
So they can become wanted for once.
What's the difference between bounties and orphans?
The bounty is wanted.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"
Why are orphans never in jail?
Because they're never wanted.
Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
Orphans are banned in Alabama.
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
An orphan goes into a bar, and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you need parent permission to enter."
What do you call a chomo on the road? Roadkill.
Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.