Law jokes
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
Why am I in jail?
All I did was cause 9/11.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a unregistered six offender.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution (consensual).
She wasn't joking. :0
We are 15....
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
Why can't an orphan be a criminal? Because they are not wanted.
Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.
Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?
Kid: I don't know.
Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.
Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.
*Officer arrests Elmo*
Elmo: But who wants tickles?
The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.
Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?
Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.
Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.
You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.