What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.
Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." Anybody relate?
What is a woman doing with an empty sheet?
Reading her rights!
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
I saw some terrorists on Family Feud. It looked like they had three strikes!
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
Orphans are banned in Alabama.
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
An orphan goes into a bar, and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you need parent permission to enter."
Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.
Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.
