Law Enforcement

Law Enforcement jokes

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Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.

Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

Class: A cow says, "moo moo."

Teacher: Good.

Teacher: What does a sheep make?

Class: A sheep says, "baa baaa."

Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?

Little Johnny: A pig says, "Put your hands up and get against the wall you black mother fucke*!"

Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.

Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

Class: A cow says mo mo.

Teacher: Good.

Teacher: What does a sheep make?

Class: A sheep says maa maaa.

Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?

Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

They're trained for that.

What happened when 800 hares got loose in the center of town?

The cops had to comb through the area.

Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."

Sell PC.

Go to Croatia.

Try to fly to the US to meet female.

US won't let me in.

End up in Norway.

Female leaves me.

Female gets arrested by feds.

Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.

Just another day in the defib life.

What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?

Cassie.

Get it?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Police.

Police who?

Police stop telling these awful knock knock jokes!

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?

1 scent.

I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?

2 pears.

I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?

3 coppers.

I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?

4 Lincolns.

I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?

NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!

Me: 911, I just killed someone.

Cops: Cool, we will not come.

Me: Why?

Cops: Don't admit a crime.

Phones: *Bang Bang*

Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.

My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.