Laughter

Laughter jokes

Suicide

Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.

Baby

what's the difference between an onion and a baby?

nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

Blind guy

So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.

A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."

People

Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?

They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.

Name

Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!

"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"

I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.

Washing Machine

What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?

The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.

  • 4
  • Mom

    Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!

    Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!

    Mom: ❓❓❓

    Furry

    Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

    Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.

    Shotgun

    A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"

    The bartender replied: "A shotgun."

    9/11

    I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

    "I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

    Friend

    Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...