Laughter jokes
Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"
Me and kid: hug.
Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.
1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?
2nd Person: Yeah, sure!
1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.
What is the thirstiest ocean in the world?
The Gulf of Mexico lol!
A bully chokes me. I simply say, "Joke's on you, I like being choked!"
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
They never get old.
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
(everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!
(person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!
(all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.
Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off.
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
...
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
My jokes are cancer.
I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.
Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.
So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"
And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."
Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"
And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."
And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"