An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in".
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- Mumbai!
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Apaches.
Apaches who?
Apaches on your eye.
i was about to say an afrikan joke. but it was too dry
What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous
so, a few hours ago my friend said i need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes...like...it's really not that deep?
I forgot the joke
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months she woke. She asked the doctor "hows the baby?" "You had twins" the doctor replied. "Your brother named them" the woman said *oh no not my brother what did he call them?" "He called the girl Denise" "what about the boy" the woman asked the doctor said "denephew"
Q: What’s the difference between me and you? A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves........ just kidding he hasn’t opened it yet
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker? I cry when I chop up onions
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
3 blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke , each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer. So the angel begins telling them the joke, one of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laugjhs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said ''this is the last step if you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass. The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, ''What do you ca..'' out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. ''Why are you laughing I haven't even finished the joke yet''? The blonde replies '' I just got the first joke''.
happiness
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
if your depressed and you crying like this joke
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America's Funniest Home Videos
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide
What do you call a roach in milk? Aroach con leche 😂
