Laughter jokes
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.
A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
I was about to say an African joke, but it was too dry.
So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?
What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Apaches.
Apaches who?
Apaches on your eye.
I forgot the joke.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
Three blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke, each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer.
So the angel begins telling them the jokes. One of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laughs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said, "This is the last step. If you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass." The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, "What do you ca..." Out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. "Why are you laughing? I haven't even finished the joke yet!" The blonde replies, "I just got the first joke!"
As an Autist, I find these jokes really funny. Thanks for the early 13th birthday present, ya'll :>
Happiness.
Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist.
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America's Funniest Home Videos.