Laughter jokes

Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?

He got a pat on the head.

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

An interrupting cow.

And inter-moo!

I would tell you a joke about my dink, but it's too long.

See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.

We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.

I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.

Why did the cow cross the road? To go to the moooooovies! Nyahahahahahahahahaha!

Lachlan

It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.

What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.

I made it, DON'T COPY!!!

I like telling dad jokes.

He laughs at most of them.

Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?

Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?

I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.

Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.

My fucking life, cya.

"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."

Like this.

So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."

For all of my musicians out there!