Language jokes
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: A broken pencil.
Friend: A broken pencil who?
Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!
Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!
You just made a Mist-ake.
"Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
"So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
"Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
"F... off!"
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
Glip gloop glap.
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?
A B C D E F G H I see a bitch in front of me.
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?
Friend: Don’t know?
Me: U STUPID!
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
Why did a Mexican go to Home Depot?
Because he thought it said "Home Deport."
Roses are red, violets are violet. I mean, come on, it's literally in the name!
How do you say "fish" without the "i"?
Fsh
Wanna hear a couple of short jokes and a long joke?
Joke,
Joke,
Jooooooooooooooke.