Language jokes
What do you call the door that is cute and adorable?
What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?
"Happynese" (happy knees).
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
Are you Spanish, because I will say "Hola."
Do you go to a biblioteca? Also, in Spanish, you will never guess the word "biblioteca." Find it, I dare you.
"My name is Dezz."
What do you call a Spanish toilet?
Elton John.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.
Why did a Mexican go to Home Depot?
Because he thought it said "Home Deport."
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.
What's the smartest insect? A spelling bee!
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
Roses are red, violets are violet. I mean, come on, it's literally in the name!
How do you say "fish" without the "i"?
Fsh
Knock, knock.
You suck my iron with you and mommy.