Language jokes
Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.
You are shore to find loads of jokes funny even if I can’t kelp you find the right ones.
Loads of jokes are funny as I’m shore you shall sea.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”
That's the best I've done so far.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ieatmop. I eat mop who? Eww, you eat your poo?
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
I love the letters of the alphabet.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Fix the door, it's broken!
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
When my friend says I suck at something, I'm like, "U swallow."
Fuck, fuck, and only fuck!
What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appétit!
Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.
What do you call an idiot?
An absolute imbecile.
I am not that good at making ice jokes, but it will suffice.
What do you call a bad pun? The pun is not punny!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, baby!