Language jokes

Q: I like elephants.

A: Everything else is irrelephant.

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.

A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."

So I replied, "No, it doesn't."

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!

What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?

"Happynese" (happy knees).

Wanna hear a couple of short jokes and a long joke?

Joke,

Joke,

Jooooooooooooooke.

Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?

Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.

Roses are red, violets are violet. I mean, come on, it's literally in the name!

How do you say "fish" without the "i"?

Fsh

Why did a Mexican go to Home Depot?

Because he thought it said "Home Deport."

Knock, knock.

You suck my iron with you and mommy.

What do you call a suspicious dog?

A sussy bark-er.

What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.

Hana?

Why was eight afraid of seven? Because 7, 8, 9!

Uremn es abarancin yngnumma gety asuma qshi tun?

A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."

The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)

How do you talk to giants? Using big words.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

I did app.

I did app who?

You did a poo.

Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?

Friend: Don’t know?

Me: U STUPID!