Language jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
What do bitches say?
"FUCK ALL YA NASTY BITCHES!"
What do you call a dead fly? -- A flew.
I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!
1 + 1 = window.
What did the American say to the Russian?
"Why are you always Russian?"
911, what's your emergency?
Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.
Well, it's not a living room anymore.
Me: Hangs up.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.
Son: Daddy?
Dad: Why tf do you keep calling me daddy? You're 11 years old, feminine gay hoe.
Son: Whoa!? Daddy, what's that?
Dad: Wtf are you talking about?
Son: Your dick has gotten more tastier?
Son: Ooh... I..... Just.... Wanna.... Sssuuc
Dad: Oh nope, I'm not having a gay hoe's fiend in my house, no quit looking at my dick, you need some pussy.
Son: eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww nooooo plz no plz
Dad: Shut the fuck up: ehr em
Mom: What the fugde is going on?
Dad: Our son's a gay bitch.
Mom: Language! So? I need to teach him how to like a girl huh?
Dad: Yes Ma'am, plz.
Mom: Okay. Herman, get your gay ass in my bed but naked, I'll be there in 10.
Son: wha whey huh ur gonna... wtf?!?!?!??
Mom: Quit cursing, I'm gonna fuck u extra hard!!
Son: Ewww, I'm gonna fuck my mom even though she is hot sexy but eeewwww.
Mom: Shut it!!!, or I'm gonna recordid and *fliped her hair taking off her panies (pussy naked)* and show this to ur gay fuck friends!
Son: Huh
Son: Mom FUCK U*
Mom: Okay baby I'm gonna fuck u in a minute lemme tak my bra off
Son: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH
Son: Moms are the worst, are they?
Me no there not sometimes but i love them teheheteheh
Sharb Glarv Jug jug Milky Jar jar Pobbies Mm yum yum Rawr Big pooboes.
What is a good nut?
A magic nut!
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.
A man found out that he was going to die.
A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"
Then he died and learned how to say no in German....
Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!
How do you turn the Roman numeral IX (9) to a six?
Add the "S."
Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?
Did you know that the "f" in "orphans" means family?