Language jokes

What do you call German Music in Spanish? Españodelling.

5 knock knock jokes from best to corny.

1. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help getting in the door.

2. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Scold. Scold who? Scold outside, let me in!

3. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Mikey. Mikey who? Mikey isn't working, can you let me in?

4. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Says. Says who? Says me, that's who!

5. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Voodoo. Voodoo who? Voodoo you think you are, asking all these questions?

A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.

Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.

The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.

A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.

Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."

She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.

The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.

He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."

What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy's favorite thing? Miscarriage.

That one never gets old, just like the baby.

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."

"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"

"Puta, banana in your ear!"

Here’s my pun.

Yup literally nothing... jeez this was pretty plain.

I’m working on a good pun, but it makes no one laugh.

Why?

I don’t have a clue.

What's the difference between a bird and jam?

You can ham your cock in a bird, but you can't bird your cock in a jam.

Person A: Where do you come from?

Person B: Liberia.

Person A: *speaks softer* Oh sorry, do you come from?

What do you call a mosquito in your language?

We don't call them, they just come and bite.

We have been cursed by curse-ive.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Dumplin.

Dumplin who?

Dumplin the killer.

A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"

The son: "I don't know, can I?"

The mom: "May you?"

The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"

What is Jay?

Phat.

My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.

What is a good nut?

A magic nut!

Hola.

Say "Uranus" but take out the "ur."

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.