Language jokes
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Bitch, I can make orange rhyme with banana.
BORNANA
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. Why? I don't know Y.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Why didn't the two 4's feel like dinner?
Answer: Because they already ate.
It's punny.
Say "I cup" but in words.
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?
One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
What did the tiger say to the bunny?
Nice to meat you!
I love the letters of the alphabet.
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
I told a furry, "Don't call yourself a joke!" I said to the furry, "Joke has meanings."
Say:
"Eye"
Spell:
"Map"
Say:
"Ness"
Now say it fast!
A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."
The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)
What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows.
What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.