Language jokes
"Ur Mater."
F1, F2, F3, do you know what’s after F3?
- F4, F U, then last F U Q.
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
I wrote "my pen is big," but forgot to space "pen is."
Can I tell you a cat joke?
Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.
So true
How do you shrivel a dick?
What do bitches say?
"FUCK ALL YA NASTY BITCHES!"
Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road?
Because the mom said, "Vente, Baca."
Shut your goofy ahh mouth!
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.
Jane ate her friend’s colon.
Roses are blue, violets are blue.
What? Ohh, shit!!!!!! I hate having dyslexia!
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moooooooooooo, not whooooooooooooooooooooo!
What do you call German Music in Spanish? Españodelling.
5 knock knock jokes from best to corny.
1. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help getting in the door.
2. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Scold. Scold who? Scold outside, let me in!
3. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Mikey. Mikey who? Mikey isn't working, can you let me in?
4. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Says. Says who? Says me, that's who!
5. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Voodoo. Voodoo who? Voodoo you think you are, asking all these questions?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dumplin.
Dumplin who?
Dumplin the killer.
We have been cursed by curse-ive.
What do you call a mosquito in your language?
We don't call them, they just come and bite.
I’m working on a good pun, but it makes no one laugh.
Why?
I don’t have a clue.
Here’s my pun.
Yup literally nothing... jeez this was pretty plain.
"Puta, banana in your ear!"