Language jokes

Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road?

Because the mom said, "Vente, Baca."

I smell up dog in here.

"What's up, dog?"

Nothing much, how about you?

Are you peeling well?

Two muffins are sitting in a bar.

The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."

The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.

What do you call a letter using the bathroom?

The P.

What does a cow say when he remembers something?

"I have deja moo!"

I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.

I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.

My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.

I said “40.”

El, can you grab me that bow?

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.

The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"

Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."

How does an American know that his time has come?

He starts hearing Vietnamese.

Knock knock.

Jou is there?

Why don't you speak English?

A dog talks to another dog and says,

"Wow, you're a hot dog!"

If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.

Hi, I...

Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.

The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.

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What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!