Language jokes
What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.
If you don't stop with the puns, soon it won't be so fun.
Poipole walks into a bar and says “poipoipoipoi.”
The bartender says, “Sorry, but in order to get takeout, you have to know how to speak a foreign language.” Poipole says “Pika!”
What color is a burp?
Burple!
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "I'm." "I'm who?" "I'm a joke!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
My name is Mike Oxmaul, and my friend's name is Hugh Janus!
Say this out loud: "Gabe Itch."
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.
(Knock knock) Who's there? Accident. Accident who? Accident you.
"Baaad boy."
I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
What do you call purple when it's being mean? Violent.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
"Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
"So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
"Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
"F... off!"