Language Jokes

A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,

"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"

What do you call purple when it's being mean? Violent.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

"Can you tie a knot?"

"I cannot."

"So you can knot?"

"No, I cannot knot."

"Not knot?"

"Who's there?"

"F... off!"

I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.

Is buttcheeks one word?

Or should I spread them?

Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?

What happens when a pun isn’t funny?

It gets PUNished.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Orange who?

Orange glad I didn’t say banana. Hahaha, you’re right, I hate that guy!

I was 11 or 12 at the time.

Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...

If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.

*insert pun here*

A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.

He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Are you fin-ished with your work?

What did the author say when he got a correct answer? "I got it right!"

Where does Santa send his children to study?

The Elf-phabets.

I would tell you the pun about the broken pencil, but it has no point to it.

What do you do to 7 to make it even? Take off the "s".

Hello.

Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road?

Because the mom said, "Vente, Baca."