Language jokes

I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.

I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.

My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.

I said “40.”

El, can you grab me that bow?

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.

The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"

Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."

How does an American know that his time has come?

He starts hearing Vietnamese.

Knock knock.

Jou is there?

Why don't you speak English?

A dog talks to another dog and says,

"Wow, you're a hot dog!"

If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.

Hi, I...

Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.

The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.

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What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!

Scree.

Why did Oliver have no friends?

His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.

I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."

Why are eggs bad at puns?

They always mix up their yolks!

No way, Jose!

The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."