Language jokes
It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.
Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
If you read this, you are gay.
How many feet are in feet?
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Is die?
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
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What did the hecadrocophodecadus say to the hopetihopetifuckendecker?
"It didn't happen, but it should have."
Why didn't the two 4's feel like dinner?
Answer: Because they already ate.
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
Your mama.
What did a cat say to the dog?
"I will kill and eat you hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehheehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheeehehehehehehehe"
Mike Oxlong.