Why is the B so cool? Because it’s in between A and C.
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Esteban.
Esteban who?
If you do not open the door, Esteban you!
What do the names Alan and Jordan have in common?
An.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
what do u call a mosquito in your language we dont call them the they just come and bight
i asked a chinese girl for her number, she said "sex, sex, sex! free sex tonight" i said, "wow!" then her friend said, "she means 666-3629
I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
"Immobile" means "I'm mobile" in my books.
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
What did Saturday say on the day before Friday?
I’m thursty (Thursday).
What did one bear reply to his bad pun?
"Bear with me!"
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.
Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"
Person 2: "What is it?"
Person 1: "Plagiarism!"
Justin: Hey.
Josh: Hey man.
Justin: Why only "man"?
Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.
Justin: I don't mind.
Josh: Okay, S L A V E.
Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!
"Tayam, I am."
