Language jokes
kapteyn = captain
Son: Daddy?
Dad: Why tf do you keep calling me daddy? You're 11 years old, feminine gay hoe.
Son: Whoa!? Daddy, what's that?
Dad: Wtf are you talking about?
Son: Your dick has gotten more tastier?
Son: Ooh... I..... Just.... Wanna.... Sssuuc
Dad: Oh nope, I'm not having a gay hoe's fiend in my house, no quit looking at my dick, you need some pussy.
Son: eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww nooooo plz no plz
Dad: Shut the fuck up: ehr em
Mom: What the fugde is going on?
Dad: Our son's a gay bitch.
Mom: Language! So? I need to teach him how to like a girl huh?
Dad: Yes Ma'am, plz.
Mom: Okay. Herman, get your gay ass in my bed but naked, I'll be there in 10.
Son: wha whey huh ur gonna... wtf?!?!?!??
Mom: Quit cursing, I'm gonna fuck u extra hard!!
Son: Ewww, I'm gonna fuck my mom even though she is hot sexy but eeewwww.
Mom: Shut it!!!, or I'm gonna recordid and *fliped her hair taking off her panies (pussy naked)* and show this to ur gay fuck friends!
Son: Huh
Son: Mom FUCK U*
Mom: Okay baby I'm gonna fuck u in a minute lemme tak my bra off
Son: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH
Son: Moms are the worst, are they?
Me no there not sometimes but i love them teheheteheh
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
Orange: Hey.
Pear: Hey.
Orange: No hay!
Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."
My name has "anus" in it.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
What’s a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby C D E F G!
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
Sneed feed seed.
Formerly Chuck's!
Someone asks a question: Who? Who asked? Boom, you"re done xxx.
Why can’t blind people read this?
They can’t see.
Bum.
Dan, I'd bent.
What time do Chinese people go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty (2:30).
If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."
I miss understood that, Miss Understood.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!