Language jokes
What does a foreigner say when he comes to America?
I don't know, I don't speak foreignish...
How do paedophiles greet people?
"How are you, kid?"
What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows.
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? It stands for family.
I have a joke about doors, but you can't handle it!😂
A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?
There is no "W" in the word "Africa," just like there is no water.
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
Spell "I cup."
I C U P
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.
That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three equals six).
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.
Say "I cup" but in words.
What's tree + tree?
Sticks! (Three + three = six)
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"
Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.