Language jokes
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.
What did the Chinese man say to his wife?
I'll chin you later.
An Asian walked up to another Asian that was crying.
He asked, "Is somting wong?"
The other guy says, "I was i a noh paking zon."
Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."
Africa spelled backwards is Acirfa, which means absolutely nothing. But Acirfa spelled backwards is Africa, which is a word.
What did the Asian people name their retarded son?
Sum Ting Wong.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy's favorite thing? Miscarriage.
That one never gets old, just like the baby.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is, "Dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.
Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Sorry.
Why are you sorry?
Sorry for putting deez nuts in your mouth.
Say "eye," smell "map," say "ness."
(I am a penis!) HA HA!
It's a grave mistake to talk badly about the death.
What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.
M to de B, m to de B = master bate.
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Smell mop.
Smell mop who?
One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.
Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"