What's the difference between a black & a white fairy tale? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, "Y'all mutherfuckers ain't gonna believe this shit."
My wife's dyslexic, but hey, bonody's prefect
Why is the B so cool? Because it’s in between A and C.
what do u call a mosquito in your language we dont call them the they just come and bight
i asked a chinese girl for her number, she said "sex, sex, sex! free sex tonight" i said, "wow!" then her friend said, "she means 666-3629
Justin: Hey.
Josh: Hey man.
Justin: Why only "man"?
Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.
Justin: I don't mind.
Josh: Okay, S L A V E.
Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
What did the American say to the russian?? Why u always russian
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B"?
What do you call German Music in Spanish? Españodelling.
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:
Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
What do French ducks say? Quoi quoi.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, 'uno, dos...' and poof. He disappears without a tres."
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.
I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
