Language jokes
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? Family, but there's no "f".
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
Say: "eye"
Spell: map
Then say: "enis."
Did you know the F in orphan stands for family?
(There is no F in orphan.)
The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.
Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯
Does this sentence make any sense?
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?
I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
Spell "I cup."
You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
What does the PH stand for in "orphan"?
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Knock, knock.
You suck my iron with you and mommy.
Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?
Sure, man. I. H. O. P.
Wait, you ate my pee!!!