I was talking to my welsh friend the other day and he suddenly started talking welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
I invented a new word today.
Plagiarism.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
What do you call a Russian tree?
Dimitree.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? -- A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?
Because the sign says "No Tres passing."
English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.
According to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
