Language jokes

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.

What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?

GAY

No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.

What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ieatmop. I eat mop who? Eww, you eat your poo?

I wrote "my pen is big," but forgot to space "pen is."

Where do you get 30% of your agua? From AGUAfers.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who? (HAHAHAHAHAHA)

Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?

Because 511472.

Alle Kinder heißen Rune, außer einer: Fisse.

Alle Kinder heißen Rune, außer einer Pussy.

A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"

Shyneyngsngneg sngengenetntwnga giulgekgengjsg genegngmtentwnnwgbgw.

Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?

Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."

Knock knock.

Who is there?

Cows go.

Cows go who?

No, cows go moooooooooooo, not whooooooooooooooooooooo!

What do French ducks say?

Quoi quoi.

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.

The past, the present, and the future were having an argument. It was tense.

The deaf man said to the waiter:

"Mmmm."

The waiter said, "No English."

Then the deaf man signed, "F U."

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

An irrel-elephant ;)