Know jokes

Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.

Mom: OMG, why son?

Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.

Think about it, then spread LMAO.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Random words in my keyboard:

The most annoying part of this game has always been that the players don’t know how much time it takes to get to the table before you start playing them.

Me: Do you know a funny joke?

Friend: Yes, you.

You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?

"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"

"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"

"Oh, hey, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"

Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.

Mom: Son, where are my condoms?

Son: What are condoms?

Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.

Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?

Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.

Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.

Why do orphans not know how to play baseball?

Because they cannot find home.

It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.

But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

I don't know, go google it.

Do you know who invented paper?

Cai Lun!

“RIP” Cai Lun.

Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?

The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?

IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!

Why can’t an orphan play baseball?

He doesn’t know where home is.

Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?

Mom: Shit, I don't know...

Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Dad: That's my boy's!!!

Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?

Nobody knows!

How do you know that Americans hate exercise?

9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?

Me and bro talking about direct objects at 1 a.m. because we don’t know English.

Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"