Know jokes
I just had sex...
I think I nailed it!
(Shit joke, I know.)
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
Blame Austria for creating Hitler, who we know today. He failed art school.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.
🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵
What is your name? What am I pointing at? 👃🏽 And what am I holding? Hahaha!!!!! Knows nothing.
You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
Did you know Africans don’t have to be black?
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
What do you call a red potato?
A tomato. 🍅
(I know it's cringe!)
You know what I told my little brother plane?
Your hairline is so far back, your barber didn't know where to start.
I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.
I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.
Do you know Joe?
Joe who?
Joe *boom*.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.