Kiss

Kiss jokes

Friend

    • Funny things or weird things to say to someone.

    Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.

    It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!

    Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.

    Baby-Bugga-Boo.

    Fuzzkins.

    Lumpy.

    Nilly.

    Ninty Minty.

    and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!

    People

    • Why was the people's wedding so miserable...

    'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.

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    • Nightmare

    • The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

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    • Dad

    • I told my dad that I’m gay. He replied, “No, you're retarded.” Then he went off to kiss a baby.

  • 2

    • Mama

    • Yo mama's so fat, a man has to bring climbing equipment to kiss her on the cheek.

    Hope

    • I gave up hope and I liked it!!

    I take meds to feel fantastic! (I kissed a boy{but fed up lyrics})

    Marriage

    • Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍

    After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.

  • 5

    • Pillow

    • My woman told me that she wants to have sex with me, and I said, "Let's go at it." She said, "Shut up and kiss me on all my pillows."

  • 0

    • Twin

    • There were two twin brothers, Lucas and Marcus. Marcus got a girlfriend while Lucas stayed single.

    A few weeks later, Lucas was caught kissing Marcus's girlfriend, and Marcus comes over and says: "Babe, I know we're twins, but I'm Marcus, and that's Lucas you were kissing." And his girlfriend looks at him and says: "I know."

    Camp

    • One time in camp, I kissed my bunkmate Bret in the shower. He cupped my breasts and lathered them in Prell, but I'm totally not gay... :)

  • 2

    • Pill

    • Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill.

    Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill, "To build this still will take so long."

    Jill said to Jack, "Well, f--k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill!"

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    • Mom

    • Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie. You other brothers can’t deny that she’s fly. We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that. She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I’m half black. But your moms the best, the super M.I.L.F. Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol But if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all. She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed. She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna. She’s so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your moms breastestess. I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song Cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mo-om.

    Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom

    I’m havin' sex with your mother That makes me better than you. I’m havin' sex with your mother That makes me better than you.

    Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom

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