Kill jokes

"Talking Ben killed me. JK, it was talking me."

Why did the orphan kill himself?

What is the difference between Obama and Osama?

Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.

Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?

It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.

Why did Hittle kill himself? Because he wanted to buy a car, but then Hittler farted.

Why did he kill himself?

Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Covid.

Covid who?

The thing that killed half a billion people!

My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.

Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.

Why is Mercury so hot? I know, because the sun is killing Mercury.

What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"

If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?

No, I don't want to fight, so I shall kill you (so we won't fight)!

Kill yourself, hoes!

Please don't kill [me].

Why did the Mexican man throw his wife out of the window...

Ta kill her.

Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.

How did Jesus kill himself?

He fell from his bike.

How many times did he die?

Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.

Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.

Have a sink in your house? Eat it.

Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.

Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.

...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4

On April 1st, there was a baby born in the hospital when the doctor, out of sudden, directly takes the baby from the mother and smashes as hard as he can to the wall.

The mother crying and yelling, "What did you do? You killed my Baby!! Why did you kill my Baby?"

The doctor just laughs and says, "April, April, it was already dead."

Hahaha