Kill jokes
When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!
Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.
Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.
Sans: Kid, I will kill you.
Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!
Why was Hitler born? Because he got killed.
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?
Tell him you don’t believe in dog.
Why did the orphan kill himself?
"Talking Ben killed me. JK, it was talking me."
Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.
Why are planes the most dangerous killers?
Because they killed 2,996 people in 10-25 minutes.
Why did Hittle kill himself? Because he wanted to buy a car, but then Hittler farted.
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.
Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Covid.
Covid who?
The thing that killed half a billion people!
Why is Mercury so hot? I know, because the sun is killing Mercury.
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
Don't commit suicide, that stuff kills you.
1273 please kill me, everyone hates me.
No, I don't want to fight, so I shall kill you (so we won't fight)!
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.