Kill

Kill jokes

Man

    • Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife, and no one could see him. He threw the body out of the car and threw the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife was dead and to come to the scene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops immediately arrested him. Why?

    ANSWER: The cops never said where the scene of the crime is.

  • 2

    • Fruit

    • Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.

    The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.

    The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"

  • 0

    • Cowboy

    • Three cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.

    Cowboy 1 says, "I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands."

    Cowboy 2 says, "I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb."

    Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.

  • 0
    • Kill memes

    Hitler

    • what's the difference between hitler and you?

    one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.

  • 8

    • Anime

    • New horror movie idea. The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.

  • 0

    • Chicken

    • What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?

    Dead chicken and dead cow.