Kill

Kill jokes

Diabetes

When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!

Insult

Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.

Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.

Sans: Kid, I will kill you.

Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!

Kid

Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?

It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.

Shooter

How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?

Tell him you don’t believe in dog.

Man

Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.

Plane

Why are planes the most dangerous killers?

Because they killed 2,996 people in 10-25 minutes.

Fart

Why did Hittle kill himself? Because he wanted to buy a car, but then Hittler farted.

Fart

Why did he kill himself?

Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.

Pencil

Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!

Sister

My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.

Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.

Covid

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Covid.

Covid who?

The thing that killed half a billion people!

Fight

No, I don't want to fight, so I shall kill you (so we won't fight)!

Dog

How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.