Kill jokes
Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.
Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.
While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》
"Nun" kills the two guys.
🤔
When it's not just a phase and you kill yourself to prove it.
Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife, and no one could see him. He threw the body out of the car and threw the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife was dead and to come to the scene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops immediately arrested him. Why?
ANSWER: The cops never said where the scene of the crime is.
Are you guys alright?
If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.
(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.
what's the difference between hitler and you?
one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
So he didn't have to pay the gas bills.
New horror movie idea. The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
My life.
Kill me, please.
My grandpa killed 100 German soldiers; he was the worst German pilot ever.
What job lets you kill the most people?
An abortion doctor.
My great great grandfather killed Hitler😌