Kids jokes
I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"
I say, "Your parents."
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him an iPhone 14.
Except it had no home button.
Memes
I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.
Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?
One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
I have been charged, because I roasted a kid at a barbeque.
What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
Random: What are your hobbies?
Me: Bullying kids in WhatsApp groups 💀
What's a deaf kid's favorite words?
"Shut up."
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."