Kids jokes

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!

POV: The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.

:me😐

What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?

Play pretend dog in the bed.

Can emo kids get happy meals?

Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.

Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!

What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.

A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

Kid 123, how's downline Orphan what? Home! 😂😂😂😂😂 Sorry.

Kid me: I lost my stick.

Teacher: No, you didn’t.

Kid me: How do you know that?

Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.

Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?

It was the Happy Meal.

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him an iPhone 14.

Except it had no home button.

When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.

I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.

Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.

What's a deaf kid's favorite words?

"Shut up."

Why is the blind kid popular?

He can't see the middle fingers.

How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."

I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."