Kids jokes

How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?

One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.

...just kidding-

- none. They can't change anything.

Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.

"Knuckle babies" don't eat.

How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?

They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.

Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Orphan: What's a mama?

Random kid: *shook*

What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.

School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"

Orphan: "My family never came back for me."

School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."

Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?

Because they make the toys.

What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?

“Here comes the airplane!”

I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?

I love working at an orphanage.

what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.

Dumb kid: What does homework mean?

Teacher: J0K35? (J0K35 is me btw) can you explain to DK what homework means, please?

Me:

"Half Of My Existence Wasted On Random Knowledge"

You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.

Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.

Me: How does this thing work?

ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.

ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*

Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.

Orphan: But I don't have a mom!

I pushed the disabled kid into a fire, then called him "Hot Wheels."

What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?

They both like to dump their loads into little kids.

I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.

Random: What are your hobbies?

Me: Bullying kids in WhatsApp groups 💀

I never knew the kid at school had autism. I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs.