Kids jokes

How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."

Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?

I told him to be a stand-up comedian!

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”

(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?

Kid 2: Never leave home without it.

Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?

Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."

There is no family.

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

Have you heard about kids with AIDS?

It never gets old.

Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.

I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.

A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.

Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?

Kid: Sure.

Dad: Come on.

Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?

Dad: Go in.

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.

I told her, "Do a wheelie!"

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

A man and a child walk into a forest.

The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."

The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."

Kid: Imagine being an orphan!

Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*

Kid: WAIT, WHAT!

What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?

Father's Day.

Why can’t you trust an emo kid?

'Cause they always leave you hanging.

What famous book writer for kids loved insects?

Beatrix Potter.