Kids jokes

I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.

What do you call emo kids that are depressed... suicide squad?

Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?

A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.

Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?

Stupid kid: No.

Bully: You should go get one!

Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.

Kid: Please.

Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.

Kid: Everybody is hugging.

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?

"There's a great singer inside of you."

There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.

Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.

He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Both can't see their parents.

I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents are.

I love my job at the orphanage.

Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?

Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!

Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?

Kid 2: No!

Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.

Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.

Kid 1: Aw, thanks!

Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.

Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.

What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?

They both can't hear their parents.

Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.