Kids jokes

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special Forces.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.

I pushed a disabled kid in a fire, then called him "hot wheels."

Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.

Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.

What do emo kids and bats have in common?

They both hang from trees.

I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"

"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.

Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"

What thing can jump the highest?

Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.

A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"

Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?

A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.

Why are transgender people like confused kids?

Because they both don't know what they want to be in life.

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They put a plunger in the toilet.

Q: How many kids did Helen Keller have? A: None, the plunger went all the way up.

A kid had school today.

He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)

There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would hang himself to death.

Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.

So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.

That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.