To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
Kids Jokes
A kid asks Trump:
Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"
Trump: "There they are, bud!"
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
