Kids jokes
Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.
Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"
Kid: What is between mom's legs?
Dad: Paradise.
Kid: What's between your legs?
Dad: The key to paradise.
Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.
Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"
Kid: I'm hungry.
Dad Bot: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Teenager: I'm Hitler did nothing wrong.
Dad Bot: Hi Hitler did nothing wrong, I'm dad.
Nazi: Finally!
Why did the emo kid cross the road? To get a box of tissues!
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
VOTING SEMIFINAL 2
LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke.
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five, but the tree left him hanging.
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.
"This place looks scary," the kid said.
And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."
I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?