Kids jokes

Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"

Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!

What's big and yellow...?

A bus full of kids.

What's bald and can't grow no hair?

A kid with cancer.

New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."

Students: "OOF!"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Your parents!"

One time this kid came back from school and said, "Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?" And his mom said, "Good news please," and the boy said, "I got 100% on my math test today." and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said, "Now to the bad news, I LIED!"

Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?

He kept cutting in line.

Why don’t I shut myself all the time?

I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.

An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.

When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?

"You have a great singer inside you."

I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.

What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left there hanging.

Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.

"Knuckle babies" don't eat.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.

Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.

Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?

They made the toys.

What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?

I spy.