Kids jokes

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."

What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?

Motor disease.

Why did the kid cross the road?

He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?

Target practice.

Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

Give them a Sandy Hook.

Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?

Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?

House of Pain—"Jump Around."

What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?

"Where are the kids?"

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just like hanging in the dark.

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would hang himself to death.

I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"

What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?

One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.

Kid me: I lost my stick.

Teacher: No, you didn’t.

Kid me: How do you know that?

Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.