Kid jokes
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league!"
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"
So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
Top 1 best football player 🏈 in the world.
“The guy who tackles the Make-A-Wish kid!”