New Kid Jokes - Page 51 - Worst Jokes Ever

Some kid with parents: "Knock, knock."

Orphan: "Who's there?"

Some kid with parents: "Not your parents."

I bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me, I'd give him 1000 dollars. He said deal, and I went upstairs.

What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?

They both couldn't make it all the way.

Kid in 2021: I'm goated at hide and seek.

Anne Frank: I am the hide and seek champion of the world.

I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.

Why does a kid yell, "Shit?"

Because he had to take one.

What is the perfect job for a pedophile?

A physical doctor for kids.

What did the dad say to the kid?

Nothing, he went to get the milk.

The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.

Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"

P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?

P2: I don't know.

P1: Wow, you sick fuck!

I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.

What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?

The cancer came back.

Kid: You're so fat!

Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.

What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?

A grape chilli bean.

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. I see the world through eyes covered in ink and bleach. Cross out the ones who heard my cries and watched me weep. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.

Tape my eyes open to force reality (oh no, no). Why can't you just let me eat my weight in glee? I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days, And some days I can't tell if my body belongs to me. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.

I wanna taste your content. Hold your breath and feel the tension. Devils hide behind redemption. Honesty is a one-way gate to hell. I wanna taste consumption. Breathe faster to waste oxygen. Hear the children sing aloud. It's music 'til the wick burns out. Hush.

Just wanna be carefree lately, yeah. Just kicking up daisies. Got one too many quarters in my pockets. Count 'em like the four-leaf clovers in my locket. Untied laces, yeah. Just tripping on daydreams. Got dirty little lullabies playing on repeat. Might as well just rot around the nursery and count sheep.