Kid jokes
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"
Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."
Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"
Dad: "That isn't the remote."
*Weird background music*
Why do people misplace 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.
All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.
What's that? said the orphans.
Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.
What's the IJK?
I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.
I got detention for giving an emo kid a happy meal.
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
What's a deaf kid's favorite words?
"Shut up."
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?
A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
What are Emo kids good at... hanging around?
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.
Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.