Kid jokes

What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.

What do you call Autistic kids baking?

"Downies" with brownies.

Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

What do you call a kid who sings well?

Melodic Minor.

What's your fav color?

"Emo kid hanging."

Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.

Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?

Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5

What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.

I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.

There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"

Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!

Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?

The apple, because the rope caught the kid.

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?

A baked potato.

What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?

They both enjoy kids' company.

I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.

So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!

There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."