Kid jokes

Who crashed the plane?

1. Abu Faram? - terrorist

2. The little kid Joseph?

3. The passed out pilot?

Or Jamal?

This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.

Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.

What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?

Cocaine.

Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.

The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.

The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.

In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.

When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.

What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?

It's funnier when kids get it.

What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?

How do you name a Chinese kid?

Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"

"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.

“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.

Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!

I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.

Kid says to genie,

"I want to be like Batman!"

Kid goes home, both of them are dead.

"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."

"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."

Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?

They ate the bat!

I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him an iPhone 14.

Except it had no home button.

If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

Where's is the candy, sir???

Over there.

(kid steps in van)

I don't see any candy.

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."