Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
Kid Jokes
Kids are only virgins because their dicks are small.
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
The depressed kid getting bullied.
The bully: "You are useless."
The depressed kid: "I know."
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
