Key Jokes

The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man. You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.

When you haven't done any of your
chores and you hear the keys jiggling in
the door...

Sleeping with your toddler is like
sharing your bed with a drunk
octopus looking for its car keys.
3
@blueydudes

tech administrator of a school: hm, a message from google security? tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT! assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME? tech administrator of a school: WEVE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE! assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! that's a good one, almost as good as the one with jack, jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right? head of school board: *whispers* yeah were fucked...

TWO HOURS LATER

important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!

AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER

Hi um okay...Knock! Knock! whoes there? Doris! Doris who? Doris look I need the key! Um...oh here another one! Okay...so sorry I type random things on these joke sites...anyway...okay. What is a book never written: Beutiful sites of the corel rife written by the ocean!

When you're in a cage But it's not real!

Being in a cage But you have the key

Being in a cage But nobody sees you

Being outside of a cage- but it's empty

Living and realizing you've been born into one

Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**-

But you can't live without them.

The cage Is you. you have the key But you don't know how to use it.

I know them all, just like you keep busting onto your computer keyboard, that's why it's always got sticky keys

when you learn how to
disassemble your car key
I know the secrets
of the machine
00

Knock knock who’s there key key who key moo

Person 1 - How the freak did you get in my house!?!?! I locked the door!!!

Person 2 - But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass

what is the difference between a man peering through the key hole and a woman in the bath? one is rude and nosy the other is rude and nosy

The shape shifter staring at my key hole,
as he prepares to charge In at the door at
full attack, and as I desperately try to
prepare and hide and hope that he does.
not see me.
108.237.328.23
MISSISSIPPI DECEMBER 21, 2036
Kol
O

Im the best at tetris

$Twitch Tetris Play TwitchTetris Controls Options High Scores About TwitchTetris About the Developer > TwitchTetris help Use the keyboard controls to rotate and move the blocks as they fall Place the blocks to form horizontal lines, which will be removed and make all the blocks above fall down. If the blocks reach the top of the screen, the game is over! Clear multiple lines at a time, or clear lines in consective moves to earn more points. var Background IELD OFFSET_X; function (config) { media > Score: > 100 B > Lines: > 4 M > Level: > th Sitapecon.posy = functioneanfiel i bas !this. this.orig Twi Tetris ch dia/b ype.c IDTH config e sta ICK egalCallback (newx, > GOOD GAME!!! > > > Better Luck Next Time > > > Your score was: > 100 > S + Move Block Soft Drop A, D Controls: Rotate W, E Save Piece SHIFT Controls Options t pp.x backd + BL WIDT ardor T_Y; BLO view) hape] s [key] age); .box Funct hctic s [key] ollid ay of rsn Hard Drop SPACE this.originX = this. = new pp.y +4924 Pause Esc x = ocky OTH; The be this.t$