Joke jokes
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
What do sperm say while just in?
"We need to go deeper."
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
Guess what, chicken butt?
A man walks into a library.
Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"
Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"
Suicidal Man: ...
Librarian: ...
The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
What is the difference between a tree and walking home from a wheelchair?
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- Pokémon
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.