Joke jokes
What is the difference between a tree and a school?
A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
Two Australians walk into a bar. They run into the ceiling fan immediately.
What is the difference between a tree and walking home from a wheelchair?
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.
How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- Pokémon
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?
A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.
Wanna hear a racist joke?...
Donald Trump.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
This website hahahahahahaha!
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
What do orphans do at parent teacher meetings?
What do you call a special needs army?
The special forces.