Joke jokes
Guess what, chicken butt?
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
What did the cow say to the other?
"Cheese!"
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!
What is the difference between a tree and walking home from a wheelchair?
Two Australians walk into a bar. They run into the ceiling fan immediately.
My life, there, that was the joke.
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
A man walks into a library.
Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"
Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"
Suicidal Man: ...
Librarian: ...
The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because his parents couldn’t help him out!
How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- Pokémon
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is. Sorry for the dark joke :>
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?
A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.
Wanna hear a racist joke?...
Donald Trump.
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.