Joke jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
My life, there, that was the joke.
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
What did the cow say to the other?
"Cheese!"
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She had no arms, remember.
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is. Sorry for the dark joke :>
Two Australians walk into a bar. They run into the ceiling fan immediately.
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
I never understood school shooting jokes.
I guess they were aimed at younger audiences.
What does a Chinese guy say to the love of his life?
"You're the ying to my yang!"
Post your jokes in the comments below!
I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.