Joke jokes
What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?
Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The face you make when you nail them.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Cause it got stuck in the crack.
*If you don't get it, it got stuck in the butt crack.*
What did the bank say to the person?
Bank you very much.
Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.
What do sperm say while just in?
"We need to go deeper."
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces!! HAHAHA
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?
A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.
This website hahahahahahaha!
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
What do orphans do at parent teacher meetings?
What do you call a special needs army?
The special forces.
How do you get a blonde to drown?
Stick a mirror at the bottom of a pool.