Joke jokes
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
What did the grape say when he got squished? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
What do you get if you add "ER" onto Hamburg?
Hamburg-ER.
I find bananas very appeeling.
Why is 5 afraid of 7? Because 6, 7, 8.
Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
It didn't have the guts to do it.
50 Thumbs up for 10 jokes you ́ve never seen!
What's Yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of dead babies.
Where did Alice go during the explosion?
Everywhere.
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊