Joke jokes
So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
What did the cow say to the other?
"Cheese!"
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?
A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
This website hahahahahahaha!
Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?
You can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.