Joke

Joke jokes

Orphan

What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?

They said, "Allahu Akbar."

Sister

What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”

Reply back with “Because you were born.”

Comma

What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

Uranus

How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?

By the rings around it.

Mushroom

Why did the mushroom kill himself?

Because he had a mushy life.

My peepee small.

Roadkill

Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.

Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?

Me: Aren't you my son?

Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.

Inside

Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house.

Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.

People

When other people tell a joke, 3/3 people laugh.

When I tell a joke, 1/3 people laugh, but 2/3 people stare into my soul.

Chicken

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To go to the bitch house.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

Bike

Why couldn’t the bike stand up?

Because it was “two tired”!