Joke jokes
What does NASA say when they don’t want to go in space: Never Access Space Again.
I go to Venus to get a bigger penis.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces!! HAHAHA
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
A kid is learning about planets in school, when he hears the planet Uranus. Knowing it's the perfect opportunity for a joke, the kid replies, "Where's my anus?"
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for buns!
Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:
*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*
If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."
Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.
What did one cheek say to the other cheek?
"It is a squash in here!"
What do you call a bunch of microcephalics in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
I am the least serious person ever, but whoever is joking about cancer is vile :)
Get some fucking respect, you silly tramp!
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.
Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
A man walks in to the doctor.
He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."
Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!
What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?
A vegetable rack.
What did the Cheetah say to the Lion?
"I'm a Cheetah!"
When other people tell a joke, 3/3 people laugh.
When I tell a joke, 1/3 people laugh, but 2/3 people stare into my soul.